


Heroes/Villains

by HomuraBakura



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's
Genre: Domestic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Guilt, Nightmares, PTSD, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-08
Updated: 2016-12-08
Packaged: 2018-09-07 06:57:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8788054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HomuraBakura/pseuds/HomuraBakura
Summary: what's the difference between a hero and a villain?





	

_Where does the line between hero and villain begin and end?_

_When do you stop being a hero and start being a villain?_

_And what line do you have to step over to be a hero after being a villain?_

_I wonder, sometimes, if there's a difference at all...or if it just makes us feel better to think that there is._

~

He wakes up again to find that her side of the bed is cold and empty. For a moment, he is confused, blinking several times at the lack of a second heartbeat against his chest. He paws absently at her side of the bed, as though she is there, but he is simply blinded by sleep.

He comes fully awake when he hears the tiny, choked sob in the next room.

He is on his feet, ignoring the cold floor against his bare soles as he crosses around the bed to the kitchen.

She hasn't turned any lights on, so for a moment, he can't see her. But when his eyes adjust, there she is, huddled in a ball on the stool next to the counter, her arms hugging her bony shoulders so tightly that he can see her pale hands shining between the strands of her mussed black hair.

“Carly?”

She flinches, almost falling off the stool. He hurries to close the space between them, putting a hand on her back. But she flinches from that too. She spins around as he draws his hand away, her eyes dark but shiny with tears in the dark. For a moment, neither speaks. Neither moves. She is pressing herself against the counter, as though she wants to run away from him. It hurts, more than he can express.

_Please don't make that face....please..._

“It's all right,” he whispers. “You're awake. You're not alone.”

A stray tear escapes down her cheek, and he wants to wipe it away, but he's not sure if he's allowed to touch her yet. Her shoulders shake so badly...

She hiccups once.

“I...Jack...” she whispers, her voice choked. “Am I....I...”

She chokes on her words, pressing a hand to her mouth and closing her eyes. He wants to hold her. He wants _so badly_ to hold her. His hands shake at his sides, just wanting to swallow her into his embrace and squeeze the panic, the fear, the horrible memories out of her. To keep her warm, safe...to keep her _smiling_....

“I dreamed about it again,” she mumbles. “About...about the hummingbird. About the day I...”

She can't finish the sentence. She doubles over then, hugging her stomach as she tries not to cry.

“It wasn't your fault,” he whispers.

“Yes it _was_ ,” she says. “Jack, I—I wanted to do it. I wanted to. I...being a Dark Signer just...it just gave me the _power_ to do it and, _Jack.._.Jack....it was....oh god. I...”

She presses the heels of her hands to her eyes.

“Jack, I woke up and I wanted it back,” she says, her voice choke. “I wanted to feel it again, I wanted that power under my skin again, I wanted to look in the mirror and see that my eyes were black again, I _wanted it—_ ”

He cannot stop himself this time. He can't hold himself back, he _needs_ to hold her. He closes the distance between them, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and pressing himself against her, pressing her against him. Her tears immediately stain the strap of his tank top, her sobs swallowed by the fabric of his shirt.

“I feel so weak, watching all of you sometimes,” she mumbles into his shirt. “I feel so weak...I can't do anything...and I thought....if I just had that power back...”

She chokes on the thoughts, burying herself against his chest.

“Jack, I'm so bad, I'm so terrible, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry—”

“Bullshit,” he whispers.

He feels her pause, hears her breath catch.

“W-what...?”

“I said _bullshit_ ,” he says. “You're not a terrible person. You're the farthest goddamn thing from a terrible person—god, you live with _me_. There isn't even room for _comparison_.”

Carly sniffles against him, her hands curling into his shirt.

“But I....I f-felt _powerful_ , Jack...I h-hurt all those people and I f-felt good about it....”

Jack leans back a bit so that he can cup her face, tilting it up gently towards him. In the dark, her face looks so pale, so cast over with shadows, the tear streaks almost black.

“Carly,” he says. “I tied up a ten-year-old and put him in a boat on a stormy day so that I could steal Yusei's card. You think I don't know anything about what you're feeling? I stomped all over people when I was king.”

“But...”

He closes his eyes, pressing her forehead to his.

“And do you know who brought me back?” he whispers. “Do you know who took my hand and showed me that there were better things in this world?”

She sobs softly, and her hand fumbles for his against her cheek, pressing against it. Her other one finds his hand and their fingers curl together.

“I'm a villain,” she mumbles. “I...I never stopped, Jack, I never stopped being one. I still want to be one sometimes...I want to feel powerful again....I'm...I'm terrible...”

He presses her hand against his chest, over his heartbeat, and with his forehead against hers, he finds her eyes in the dark. Wide, dark, shiny with tears. He wishes he could kiss them away.

“Then I'm a villain too,” he whispers. “Because I never stopped wanting it either. To be king. To be able to lord over everyone.”

Their noses brush as he leans in to touch his lips to hers, and her eyes flutter shut at the contact. He breathes the next sentence right into her lips.

“Let's be villains together, then....at least until we can remember how to become heroes again.”

~

_We aren't heroes, or villains, in the end._

_Maybe, we're just somewhere in between...trying to find out what lies down the middle road...._

 


End file.
